If you have an email account on any of my domains, click below to acess webmail or just insert
Http://papabear.biz/webmail
To acess your account
Julie. User name is the entire email adress
Wow am I sleepy. I’ll make the limk button tomorrow
Being a hermit sucks but being a hermit who’s too ill to buy groceries sucks more. After three years of not attending email or leaving my cabin, I’m beginning to peek out to see if the world is still here. I care again for some strange reason. My interests are interesting again…a little. I really need to dust off thismsite and integrate it with Facebook since that’s the hip place everyone goes to..even tho the drinks are watered down and music is too loud. Social pressures matter again for some reason..just a teensy bit.
After I lost Gary and Boman, my life has been one long plodding drudgery. I find it hard to have a reason to get out of bed. If I were in better health it might be different. Chronic pain and fatigue were already the bane of my existence. Now they feel a million times worse. Suffice it to say, I’ve lost interest in most things I enjoyed. Email. Websites. Stories.
I’ll update this site again should I find my way again, but for now I’m going let it sit as it is.
This afternoon at approximately 3pm, Boman died in my lap, my head touching his.
Words can’t express the depth of loss of Boman. He was so much more than a dog and those of you fortunate enough to be blessed with a special soul in your life understand what it is I’m saying.
I’ll post more when I’m not so worn out.
I need to update this website or at least make a post. For now this will have to suffice. It’s a big day at the RV camp today. steve has a birthday so it’s going to be tons of food, etc.
I’m looking forward to it. I find myself looking forward to a lot of things lately. I found myself smiling at people and helping them with their groceries at Frys last week. The warmth and sunshine is helping much more than I imagined it would. The real me is slowly emerging from the darkness that followed in the wake of Gary’s death. I’ve missed me.
I woke from a nap with this poem in my head. It was my introduction to Shel Silverstiens poetry. Up until that day I had only seen his “Different Dances” book. The idea that he could do childrens books was a bit shocking to me. His adult oriented material is fantastic and thought provoking. His books sustained me through two bouts of cancer and the most difficult time of my entire life…loosing Gary last year while we were in Tucson. I introduced him to Shel’s work during our morning readings. It was a ritual. Every morning while it was sunny outside, we sat on the back deck while he drank his coffee, and I read a book to him. I don’t know if I shall ever recover from it, but Shel’s book “the missing piece meets the big O”, always rang true to me, though there are few items I feel missing in the story, it has sustained me in this awful time.
So I woke up with this poem on my mind and thought I’d share with you:
Does it fall upon hats
Or white Persian cats
Or on heads with a pitty-pat sound?
I used to think life was a bore
But I don’t feel that way anymore….
As I count up the hits
As I smile as I sit
And I spit from the 26th floor
Note: in the honor of fairness, the following recounted memory has been, what Gary would call “Texas Sized”. Where I come from it is simply the time honored tradition of not boring your audience.
We also believed making cookies for the moving men was not manipulation or a bribe ..but rather just “loving them to their goal”.
With that in mind, enjoy the following cautionary tale of roller coasters and kids first roller coaster rides. Otherwise known as “aw c’mon ya big baby! It cant hurt you!”
I wrote this in reply to a post from a friend who had convinced their nephew to go on a roller-coaster despite his fear of them.
I just discovered this nice hidden feature in Safari on the mac. I wish I’d known about this all these years. I bought software to do this once so to discover it built in to the browser was a bit of a shock.
To grab a video, say, from Youtube, to play on your Iphone or Ipod later, or just to archive, do the following.
I’ve been more isolated lately and one bit of fallout from that has been a reluctance to update my site, open mail, or answer the phone. It’s part of the process, or so they say. There were days I felt nothing. In a way it’s as if Im one big scabbed over scar. You think it’s like normal skin until you pick at it and discover it’s not nearly as healed as you thought it was.
Right now my email is down except for my iPhone. A lightningstrike took out every computer I had that was working so I bought an acer netbook to help me along until I got them fixed. A few weeks later I rocked my chair forward and heard the screen go crunch. I’ll be down a bit longer while I processes the holidays. They were much harder than I expected. I’m asking for prayers and patience while I go through the healing process.
Randy
Leaving Feedback Abuses
I have reluctantly instituted a restriction that requires you to have an account and be logged in to leave feedback. I thought this problem had been solved but it appears someone found a way around the fix and is leaving feedback to the webmaster (me) several dozen times a day. If I wasn’t interested in Amys big tits from Russia the first hundred times… why would sending me a message thousands of times change my mind? Perhaps they subscribe to the theory that brainwashing will somehow make me straight. Every week her name changes, her tits get bigger, and the number of posts grows larger. The only thing growing larger on this end is my annoyance with these bozos. So in the end, we all pay by having more blocks to leaving a note.